Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Boys vs Girls

It really is ‘OK if you don’t love me’.
I know there is a God for Margaret.
and I learned everything I ever needed to know about sex
from Judy Blume.
(I still can’t meet guys named Ralph and not laugh like a character out of Family Guy.)

But apparently, I still haven’t figured out that boys and girls are different.

Ladies, no matter how repulsive you find the apparel designed for female cyclists – and for Pete’s sake, it’s ugly. Don’t buy men’s jerseys and think they will fit.
They don’t.
I’m sure there are some exceptions to this rule. After all, some women look good in low-rise jeans. Not as many as think they do, but some.
Jerseys are different.
Women’s jerseys are cut to flare over your hips so when you lean over your handlebars you don’t moon the universe. Men’s jerseys are ‘elasticized’ to make up for their lack of hips. This means that fat guys look fatter, and women look like misshapen potatoes.
I, of course, learned this by purchasing a quite lovely jersey the other day from the men's sale rack. I don’t have ‘bike clothes’ and most of the stuff I’ve seen is just embarrassing. I saw this perfectly plain jersey and thought now that I’m riding a lot, I should give it a try. Maybe there’s something to all this specialized gear?
Well, I still haven’t figured that part out.

(It’s not called bike dummy because I’m a brain surgeon.)

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