The 2008 NYC Century

NYC Century 2008

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Well that was interesting.

"Interesting" in the same way your do it yourself Flock of Seagulls hairdo was interesting, or interesting the way Aunt Dottie gets after her third cocktail.

I was half dreading 4am went I went to sleep the night before. Hurricane Hanna was in full effect on the eastern seaboard, and as much as I enjoy cycling, cycling a hundred miles in a raging storm is not my idea of something you do voluntarily.

Even I had to admit it was obviously going to be a perfect day when I checked the weather and walked my confused dog.

I got myself together, got myself to the subway, and boarded the bicycle express to the Upper West Side.



There's nothing quite like the combination of spandex-clad, sunblock covered cyclists packed on the same subway as night-shift workers and drunk yuppies who only wish they were doing the walk of shame.

I wish I could accurately quote some of the conversations that I overheard, but they all boiled down to the same general topic:

Drunk Dude #1 "Yo, what's with the bike?"
Cyclist "The NYC Century is today"
Drunk Dude #2 "Huh, What's that?"
Cyclist "You bike a hundred miles around NYC"
Drunk Dude #1 "A hundred miles? No Shit."
Drunk Dude #2 to Drunk Dude #1 "Sounds stupid"

Thankfully, I made it to the start without getting barfed on, got my cue sheet and was on my way.

I love the first part of the NYC Century. Starting in the dark. Bombing down Riverside Drive and then through Times Square. No traffic, just the whirr of a hundred bikes coasting down the hills. Then across the Brooklyn Bridge at dawn and into Prospect Park.

The things I remember are random; The guy in the orange 'You don't have to be the best, you just have to try the hardest' tee shirt that spotted as I was leaving the top of Central Park and then rode with for about 50 miles, the two unicyclists doing the whole hundred, the weird twists and turns the route took through Brooklyn - both across the Carroll Street Bridge (odd choice) and right past the subway station I was at two hours before, but most of all, I remember how I felt after mile 30.

Why mile 30?

Well at about mile 25 on the Shore Parkway Bike Path, right around Gerritsen Beach (at least I think that's Gerritsen Beach - you know, where it's all twisty-turny and there's sand all over the path and there's a little port-a-potty stop?)
Well, right there as I slowed to take a 'natural break', I got broadsided by another cyclist.
Now I've never been in an accident with another cyclist.
I've been doored by cars and I've hit things and fallen, mostly I slow speed topple over while trying to do dumb things, but I've never actually been in a high speed crash.
I wish I could describe what happened, but I can't. One minute I was on my bike and the next, I was all the way across the road on my back. I got hit so hard, I was thrown clear of my bike and didn't even get a scrape.
I checked myself, I checked my bike, I checked the guy (he said he was fine, although I think he knocked the wind out by slamming his stem into his own sternum) I got back on my bike and continued down the path.
Five miles later the adrenaline high wore off and I've never felt worse in my life.
Everything hurt, every mile was agony. I was thirsty no matter how much I drank, and hungry no matter how much I ate, I was tired no matter how slow I went, and I was depressed no matter how beautiful the day was.

I struggled on through to Queens. Gamely did my loop around the Velodrome.
And then at the absolute stinkiest part of the bike path along Flushing Bay - you know which part I'm talking about...

This happened.



I managed to get my tire fixed, rode 20 feet and - don't ask how, it's too embarrassing - broke the tip off the brand new tire nozzle.

A couple of Marshalls stopped to help me and give me a new tube, and I stumbled unhappily into Astoria Park.

Then the person who was supposed to be watching my dog called to tell me they were sick and couldn't get to my house and I just gave up.

I was out of shape, out of spare tires, and out of gas.

I crawled back to the park, picked up my tee shirt and cookie and headed home.

When I finally stripped out of my riding gear, I found a bruise the width of a tire perfectly imprinted on my right upper thigh.

I count myself lucky it wasn't worse. I hope that guy is ok. And I owe that Marshall a drink.

You can't get there from here

Lost in the Bronx ... again.



So I tried to bike to City Island the other day.
And I should know better.
It's not that I don't know where City Island is. It's a lovely gem of a neighborhood located off the Long Island Sound in the Bronx.

I've just never biked there.

And when I've never biked somewhere, I break out the trusty NYC cycling map, follow the marked paths, and never make it where I'm going on the first try.
You might be wondering if my bike dummyness extends to an inability to read maps. Well, let me assure you that it does not.
I am convinced that the official NYC cycling map was drawn by someone who hates cyclists and wants to kill us all - and I think the same person is now in charge of planning all the new bike lanes (but that's a whole other essay).

I've done a bit of riding in the Bronx. It's a lovely borough.
According to the bike map, there is an unbroken greenway leading from Van Cortland park, through the New York Botanical Garden, down along Pelham Parkway North, and across to City Island.

I had some stuff to do, so I headed up the West Side, across the University Heights Bridge, and down Fordham road towards the Zoo. I've biked this before, so I didn't let the traffic and buses get me down. It's horrible, but I was headed for a nice secluded pathway, so who cared.
I hit the park, made a left and tried to find the connection to the path coming down from Van Cortland Park. - Remember, all the roads I've been on so far are recommended bike routes - and I'd only almost died five or six times, not too bad.
I followed my map, but found no sign of the mystery bike path through the Botanical Garden. I even asked the security guard, who kindly informed me that not only were bikes not allowed, he had never heard of a path nearby.
I tried on my own and ended up - I kid you not - ON THE MOSHOLU PARKWAY.
My fault. Just check the map. It's patently obvious that you should be in the oncoming traffic lane in order to find the entrance to the path. (irony intended)



By the time I got around to Pelham Parkway and discovered how nasty the road surface is, I was ready to head back to Brooklyn.

And then my adventure really started.

I ended up on crappy ass streets, going up and down hills, struggling with bike lanes that go nowhere, stop suddenly, don't exist, or magically enough - end on the Bruckner Expressway.



By the way, thanks for the sign. Maybe it would have been more helpful at the intersection before this so I could have gotten off this one way street.

I was tired, hot, and in the process of discovering that spray-on sunblock does not work as well as the greasy, goopy kind when I made a wrong turn on Randall's Island.
(See my post about fear of lightening.)

So I lived through the storm.
I made it back to Brooklyn.
I was pondering the insanity of some of the bike lanes I was being asked to ride in, when heading up Sands Street (recommended bike path), my rear wheel dropped into a pothole and I felt the tire blow.

Just to add insult to injury, by the time I made home - it was raining again.

There's got to be a morning after...

Happy Birthday Neil.
Great Gig.
I should have gone home, but I didn't.

Don't drink and bike.
(It's not called bike dummy because I'm a brain surgeon)

“I'll never look like Barbie. Barbie doesn't have bruises.”

You have to whine really annoyingly and be wearing torn fishnets when you say this, just like in ‘Sid and Nancy’. Or you could just be me.
I don’t even have a drug habit or doomed affair with a rock star to blame. I just fall over a lot.
This time I didn’t even fall down. I fell up.


I was riding through Van Cortland Park in the Bronx for the first time and like many of my experimental expeditions, I got lost.
Van Cortland Park is huge. At 1,146 acres it is New York City's fourth largest park. It is home to the country's first public golf course, the oldest house in the Bronx, a protected wetland, and the borough's largest freshwater lake. I know this because I passed all of these repeatedly as I tried to find the entrance to the Putnam Trail and my chosen route into Westchester.

View Larger Map
It turns out, most of the trails in Van Cortland Park are not paved. It turns out that now that I’ve looked online, the Putnam Trail is unsuitable for a road bike. I think I’ve mentioned before that the NYC Bicycle Route Map sometimes feels like it was drawn by someone who wants to kill all cyclists, well I don’t want to sound unappreciative, but sometimes they really are out to get you.
Following the NYC bike map, I’ve encountered more closed roads, closed bridge crossings, and listed bike trails that aren’t bikable than I thought possible. It’s really making me want to put together some kind of online clearing house of up to date route information so that we don’t all have to go through this. Hmmm.
Anyway. As I biked in ever more frustrating circles on gravel trails, I finally dropped my chain. I was at the base of a commanding set of steps that lead up to the Van Cortland House Museum and I thought that might be my best bet to find actual pavement and maybe a place to fix my derailleur too, so I hefted my bike up onto my shoulder and started the walk up. About half the way up, I tripped, fell on my bike, and to add insult to injury, punched myself in the nose with my own handlebars.

Some days I just shouldn’t get out of bed.
Am I the only one who can’t ride a bike without bashing some part of myself on something? At this time of year, how bruised are you?

Doored

...or why I hate riding on Manhattan's East Side.
I must be eligible for some sort of prize as of today. I think it would be called "most failed attempts at riding the periphery of Manhattan by one individual". I just can't make it work, and I don't know why.
Well, I sort of know why...
I feel like I know where I'm going when I'm in Manhattan, so if I miss a turn or two, I'm never that worried. "I'll just catch the next entrance", I say to myself. Only, I'm wrong.
Whenever I try to ride completely around Manhattan, I screw it up.
According to the Official NYC Bike Map, there is a (basically) unbroken line that goes around the island. This is a lie.
The West side of the island is quite lovely to ride on until you hit (Pet Peeve Alert), the parking lot of Fairway Supermarket at 125th street. After a little deadly intersection detour, it becomes one of my favorite stretches of bike path in the five boroughs. It passes through Riverbank State Park and then Ft. Washington Park (with a little detour to the Little Red Lighthouse), up along the Hudson into Inwood and the Cloisters.
It was a lovely day for a ride. Sunny, but cool, a little too windy for comfort - I almost got blown over a couple of times, but that's always the downside of riding near the water.
I got to portage my bike on the Henry Hudson Drive to get around some construction. I was impressed to see the workers set up on either end to help bicyclists heft themselves and their bikes over the barriers and across the highway - it was a happy bicycling high point of the day.
The low points followed in quick succession from there.
I followed the greenway signs across Dyckman to the Harlem River Drive Bike Path which quickly disintegrated into a broken glass covered on and off road excursion. Somewhere near Jumel Terrace, I picked up St. Nicholas Avenue and instead of turning left, I went straight.
This is not a disaster. Manhattan is very narrow, so when I figured it out, I turned. My best guess is that this is where I screwed up. Like little red riding hood, I strayed from the path.
My original plan was to go over the Triboro bridge into Queens and then ride down to Brooklyn, but somehow, at 125th street it all went wrong.
125th street is the bane of my bicycling existence. On the west side, it's where my happy, traffic - less riding ends. On the east side, it's where I ALWAYS get lost. Crossing on it is like attaching your mouth to the exhaust pipe of a bus.
The last time I tried it going north, I ended up in a sanitation storage yard where they store sand in enormous piles. And I don't mean that I left the bike path - the bike path ends in the giant pile of sand. The time before that, I ended up accidentally going over the Willis Avenue Bridge into the Bronx. This time, I was sure my plan would work.
I rode to the entrance of the pedestrian walkway of the Triboro and stopped short. It was gated shut with a sign that read, "Closed. Please use the walkway on the North Side." I crossed 125th street again (and the 6 lanes of on ramp, off ramp bridge traffic). The pedestrian walkway was gated shut with a sign that read, "Closed. Please use the walkway on the South side." Umm, WTF?
Is the Triboro closed to Bicycle traffic right now? Or is it my 125th street juju that makes it impossible for me to figure this out?
I sighed heavily and set off along the East Side of Manhattan.

Now some parts of the path are quite nice. And the sections in the North are fairly empty of pedestrian and bike traffic. But trust me, it may look like a path on the map, but it's not.
First of all, it's made of hexagonal concrete tiles, very bumpy on road tires. Second, though parts of it are quite beautiful, they end abruptly in flights of stairs that you have to carry your bike up or down. Third, when heading South, the section from 55th street through 34th street runs on 2nd Avenue. Not next to 2nd Avenue, not marked with a bike lane, just follow the NYC greenway signs straight to the bus lane.
So I was cranky and possibly not concentrating as hard as I should as I swung off onto Sutton Place and promptly got doored by the passenger side door of a car parked at the edge of the bike lane. I did a nice little slide on my elbow between the idling car and the moving traffic, leaving a bit of myself embedded in the road, but my bike seems ok and the rest of me is just slightly more bloody and banged up than normal.
I hate riding on the East Side of Manhattan.

Thanks for the door.
What do you do when you get doored?